Why Representation Matters for Adopted Children
Happy National Adoption Month! We love highlighting the parents who’ve adopted children, especially children of color, doing a phenomenal job. We enjoyed interviewing two of Zoe’s curlfriends moms and got some great advice to help you if you’re thinking about adopting a child or is already an adoptive parent.
Megan Patton and Jayette Horan gave us insightful information about the role Zoe plays in their child’s life, how Zoe has helped their child, and advice for prospective adoptive parents, especially if you want to adopt a child of color.
Meet Hazel aka Hazie. Hazie will be 6 in December. She loves to wash and condition Zoe’s hair. Hazel’s mom wanted her to have dolls of color, so when she saw Zoe, she knew it was the perfect doll for her. Zoe was the representation Hazel needs to represent her skin tone and her hair. She and Zoe wear matching hairstyles all the time.
Is there anything you would share with prospective parents looking at adoption?
Megan shares when adopting a child of color, they will live in a white world because they have white parents. Therefore you have to take the extra step to make sure she has her culture in her life, helping your child find her identity, and debunk the “white savior” mindset in adoption. It is not about you as a parent; listen to adult adoptees of color for advice. Take time to learn about their experience.
Two of the accounts she recommends are @_heytra and @wreckageandwonder.
What is one piece of advice you would give to parents adopting children of color?
To all parents who want to adopt a child of color, Megan says, “‘If your response to ‘Black Lives Matter’ is ‘All Lives Matter’ do not adopt a child of color. If you say, ‘I do not see color,’ do not adopt a black or brown child. Also, racial mirrors are SO IMPORTANT. Representation is SO IMPORTANT.....that is why Zoe is so important!”
Meet Zoey. Zoey is four years old. She loves hair days with Zoe, but her mother tells us that Zoe is included in everything they do. They even got Zoe a mask to wear when they go in public because Zoey wouldn’t leave the car cause she wanted to make sure that Zoe was safe from the virus. Zoey truly loves Zoe from the bottom of her heart. Zoe helps Zoey connect to the black community since she is apart of an interracial family. Her mother, Jayette, tells us that since relationships are limited due to COVID, Zoe has been a great help.
Is there anything you would share with prospective parents looking at adoption?
Jayette shares that adoption is excellent, and it is a beautiful thing. However, it does not make everything perfect. She encourages people who would like to adopt to do their research and be aware of the adoption system. She always encourages prospective adoptive parents to check their own biases, especially if you want to raise a black child. Make sure that you are willing to do the work, do the best you can, and keep your child in her community.
What is one piece of advice you would give to parents adopting children of color?
To all parents who want to adopt a child of color, Jayette says, “Do not come with a savior mentality.” She explains that a loving home is not enough, especially for a child of color. It is essential to understand your privilege and seek anti-racism and bias training. Remember that your kid comes first, so you have to go the extra mile and put in the work to recognize your privilege and how that will affect their upbringing. Last but not least, learn how to do hair. She says that youtube is a great resource.
We thank Jayette and Megan so much for sharing their wisdom and experience with being an adoptive parent. Zoe has curlfriends nationwide, and she finds time to be there for them to make a difference. Happy National Adoption Month!